Archive for the ‘shlogs’ Category

“I am desperate yellow”

February 2011

The silliest new gimmick of the year so far is the grow-your-own edamame kit. Given the fact that you can go through a big bag of frozen in one sitting, why would you want to engage in “urban farming for dummies,” as TONY ludicrously dubbed it, with one legume bonsai? You’d be better off with a chia pet to snip for salads. A shiitake log I could almost see (although portobellos would be a bigger payoff). But this only makes sense if it comes with a fat federal subsidy for raising soybeans.

Second prize: Two trips to Taco Bell HQ

November 2009

For all my ranting that the FTC is unfair in expecting bloggers to reveal freebies while letting “legit” media continue taking with both fists, I was actually amazed at the level of graft in the West Coast exposé of  “mommy bloggers.” These saps are being flown around and courted as if they were Sarah Palin with a URL. And the crap they sell their souls for is mostly really crap (the good stuff either doesn’t need or can’t afford pimping). Most revealing was the cynicism of the companies manipulating these women, whom they apparently perceive as being either naive or greedy — neither of which is exactly an admirable quality in a parent. Message: Hos before prose. Targeting “daddy bloggers” might make it all seem a little less unsavory, but somehow I suspect it’s not gonna happen. Guys would hold out for a convertible. Or at least a mistress. Not a lousy case of disposable diapers they’d have to change.

Put the Croc in the escalator

June 2008

Might be time for another story on chefs’ blogs now that I have seen my first shlog. I can’t imagine what reason but huckstering there would be for the “so French” Eric Ripert of Andorra to be devoting “his” first two posts to cooking in a toaster oven. By now I should know you can’t believe everything you see on the internets, though. One of the most persistent search strings for Gastropoda is “Bobby Flay bad-mouthing Hellmann’s.” With Rachaelesque rumors like that going around, he should be very careful about his neckwear.