Anyone who thinks the Skankier Twin’s wedding announcement is anything besides more sand in the umpire’s eyes probably believed Turdblossom’s excuse for leaving. If she does trade her tequila bottle for a Republican tool, the affair will undoubtedly be West Texas tasteful, with Jell-O shots for everyone. But somehow I suspect the ratings bounce is not going to happen, not when Americans are eating literally 200,000 pounds of painkillers a year and the Chimp misery still won’t go away.