Bend over

Given that I have not eaten a Mrs. Fields cookie in 20-some years since learning just one packs 260 calories, I was not surprised to see New York City back off from forcing fast food chains to play by the numbers. The truth hurts the bottom line. A bigger mystery is why the powers that wanna be Big Brother saw fit to commission a redesign of the famous choking poster. The old one was graphically graspable from across a crowded room. The one I’m seeing everywhere lately is all small blurry gray pictures and tiny text; you could stand three inches away and not know the first thing to do if your dining partner swallowed a fish bone and suddenly turned blue. Maybe someone can “update” the old “I Heart New York” slogan with: “This individual standing in front of you talking is experiencing a deep and strong and very abiding affection for the five boroughs and in fact the entire state.” It’s the kind of improvement you expect from bureaucratic bunglers in Washington, not Mayor High-Tech. Plus it must look like a muddy mess on the backs of the staff down at Schiller’s.

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