Right to life, you say?

The same day I noticed my bottle of Heinz white vinegar carried a sell-by date (preservatives go bad?), I opened a jar of popcorn and a big bug flew out. It got away before I could see what it was, but it left plenty of company: one teeny red crawly critter and a swarm of slightly bigger black creepy things. Almost every kernel had gone all “Alien” in the couple of weeks since I had filled that clean jar with stuff bought in bulk at the health food store around the corner. I’m used to strange creatures hatching wildly in my flour and pasta and dried chilies. I just never knew the national snack was also alive with unadvertised protein, and from a vegetarian oasis at that. Of course the whole experience was not as unsettling as the rumor I recently heard that the most overexposed, least interesting voice in food is being considered for radio. If you think Bonnie Wolf is vapid, smarmy and annoying, you haven’t heard the half of it. The wonder is that NPR isn’t chasing after onefatass.com. But then she’s back, and sequels do happen.