With no help needed, I can find infinite reasons to cringe at what has appeared under my byline in the last 24 years in this peculiar  business. But I always rather like the lede I came up with for a little feature for Metropolitan Home eons ago: “Fondue is like Danish furniture — always on the verge of a comeback when it really never goes out of style.” But you know how kids are today. They think everything was consigned to the junk heap of food fads just so they could rediscover it. And so I was almost pleased to see great minds at both a sophisticated food section and a dumber-by-the-issue food magazine both running in the same gutter. At least the latter was aware that teak rules.

And, much as it pains me to admit this, the home of the Human Scratch N Match clearly knew that queso fondue is not “fundido” but “chile con.” The operative verb is dip, and the melted cheese should be a coating, not a filling. Somehow I suspect Velveeta would push a lot more buttons than a $20,000 coffee machine at the same time Starbucks has decided things are so dire in Chimpville that its surname is the way to go. But no, let ’em drink flowers in their Champagne.