First, buy a bag of clothespins

My life these days seems to be all ideas, no income, but my latest brilliant concept, I’m convinced, would be like winning the publishing Lotto: a parody issue of The Bible According to Chris. Then again, it might be indistinguishable from the real thing. I just read the Quick Tips and had to pick my jaw up off the bathroom floor. Use uncased sausages as meatballs (illustrated). Chill your can of tuna for salad (illustrated lavishly). Grill your sausages on skewers so they fit tidily into a hot dog bun (TWO illustrations). And the one on measuring butter made me hear Grace Slick caterwauling: “Use your head!” At least there were no safety instructions included.

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