Calling Chrissie Hynde

Probably the most abused word in the English language, after gourmet, is chef. Whatever Rachael Ray is, she is not a chef. Stuntwoman, maybe. But she has never really run a kitchen. In some ways, she’s her generation’s Martha, but it’s funny how no one ever called Ms. Perfect a chef, and she had somewhat more claim to the title. And all this is by way of saying we live in one fucked-up society when the donut terrorist is the top earner in the “chef” category, ahead even of good old Wolfgang, who once ruled the branding game. (Guess that wingnut boycott worked out well, huh?) It used to be you got rich and famous by doing. Now it’s by being. What’s more chilling is that the butter swiller is so close behind her, No. 4 on the bucks list, after Gordon Ramsay. John Prine should reissue his great old song about blowing up your teevee — that one invention has clearly made the whole country cretinous. Another news report claimed 25 percent of calories are used by your brain. Obviously, those are empty calories. The kind you’d take on with a nutritious egg white sandwich and oversweetened coffee down at Dunkin’ Kefiyahs.