“Contains dairy products”

I’m mostly doing New York on $5 a day lately, so my main source of entertainment remains Union Square. Saturday my consort and I were wrestling our way through the dog-accessorized rubberneckers to Paffenroth when a woman came by handing out samples of chocolate ice cream, and people were on her, as James Carville would say, like stink on shit. Visualize pigeons descending on Piazza San Marco. Bob, who has about as much resistance to chocolate as I do to bitchiness, managed to snare a cup and we finished our hunting and gathering and went to find a park bench to try it out. He got a laugh at the description (ultra premium), I freaked at the nutritional information (291 calories for 4 ounces, three kinds of thickeners) and we both enjoyed the little card listing all the superior attributes of the stuff (all natural, egg free, kosher!) I tried only a few spoonfuls, but cocoa was the dominant flavor. Then Bob said, “It tastes like something from the truck.” How he became a Mr. Softee connoisseur was a question I did not want to ask, but I realized he was right. This “expensive? — YES and NO” product could pass for a Fudgsicle. No wonder they were giving it away.