Did you hear the one about the restaurant critic who used chefs as caterers at her wedding? Oh. Right. Now how about an exposé of one who doesn’t lie down with freebies? Some days I truly wonder if Turd Blossom did not train with food people who blithely market cow-plop blooms as cardoons. The ones that were reportedly in the Greenmarket in July and are suddenly the fave thing for November. Yeow, indeed.