Speaking of premature exultation, though, the Nobel committee had nothing on whoever it was who designated Panchito’s successor as the next Bill Keller. I mean, he’s a nice guy and everything, but he hasn’t even fucking started the gig. But I guess his anointment sends a clear message to any women and minorities and bootstrappers aspiring to move up the ladder: Connected white guys win! (And I can’t even get too worked up about that, given what a bitch Jill Abramson comes off as, trashing Adam Moss’s feature work as meaningless when she herself only rose to prominence with a dog blog.) What really makes me laugh is thinking about how the Chimp’s enabler must be roundly eaten with envy as he watches the new guy on the beat being showered in roses before filing his first review. As their mustachioed colleague would say: Suck. On. This.