Nutshell in a Playgirl

The sorriest ad campaign so far has to be the new one for pistachios, a desperate — and successful — attempt to get media buzz by hiring sleazes like the knocker-upper who was just a heartbeat away from the VP’s mansion. Your guess is as good as mine why someone would be motivated to buy freedom nuts after watching the dim son of an accused drug dealer hawk them. Then again, if cracking pistachios is the great barrier to enjoying them, maybe the idiot beauty queen from South Carolina is the perfect spokesmodel. Anyone else would know to buy them shelled.