In lieu of drugs, send turkey lifter

One of Neil Young’s best songs has the rocking refrain “piece of crap,” and it will be echoing through my cranial sieve from now until January. Judging by the catalogs piling up around here, Thanksgiving is coming and the consumer’s getting dumb. Does anyone really need a “stuffing cage” to shove up the turkey so you can extract all the nasty bits with more work than using a spoon? It struck me as a poultry speculum, and the cleanup has to be about as appetizing.