I’ve clearly been homebound and overdosing on print media, because my take on the WSJournal’s new weekend section is that it should be renamed Stuff Rich People Like. I’ll give it points — it’s dense with featurettes, to the point that it took me three tries to get through it (the last after Tweets started popping up noting what a mess the paella recipe was — olive oil is the first ingredient, tomatoes the first step, etc.) And it does have savvy things like what your $9,920 for new Louis Vuitton pumps could buy you, including a week’s worth of Starbucks. But in the same month the new figures came out showing one in seven Americans is now living in poverty, the hotel/cooking school feature showcases a Tuscan resort where rooms go for up to $4,000, and where the unlucky ducks can become members for $1.6 million plus $53,000 a year in dues. I didn’t slog through the piece, but presumably the classes focus on cucina povere, just to keep irony alive.

The most amusing feature was “Slow Food Fast: Seasonal Recipes for Cooks Who Don’t Have All Day.” Not only must these time-strapped readers track down, and spring for, fresh porcini. They also need to make three elements for bruschetta, which should be synonymous with simplicity. And one involves halving green grapes. I guess the miracle is that peeling them is not also required.