Like water from a fountain

I guess this is one way to create jobs: pass a law requiring restaurants to hire armed security guards to watch out after 9 o’clock. This is happening in Newark, after an off-duty cop was killed, but I can see where it could lead. Someone gets food poisoning, you have to hire a health inspector. Someone in a wheelchair can’t get from car to table, you have to hire an aide. Just in case the grease-encrusted vent does up in smoke, keep a fireman on staff. John Galteria would be a great concept for a chain if we could eat the namesake. But it’s not hopeless here yet. I read about an American now making and selling cheese in Russia whose biggest problem is “bureaucracy.” Which makes him sound like a whining teabagger until he points out that the system provides a way around it: “Corruption can work against you, and corruption can work for you.” Break the law in Russia and you can pay off the cop. In the United States, “one has to deal with the paperwork.” Call me a libtard, but in which country would I rather risk a raw-milk Camembert?