Kettle is the new Lean

I’ve written too often about how fascinated I am by the slingers in the weekend papers with those coupons for the most bizarre processed crap. But lately they seem to be glaring evidence of what’s always left out of the unceasing hectoring over fast food versus home cooking: All the junk in the supermarket. Someone’s gotta be buying the boundless frozen Macaroni Grill “lasagnas” and instant potato gratins and “pizza stuffers” and egg-and-sausage biscuits. And it’s really no better than McDeath, which always gets the blame for the great American bloat. Technically, popping open a tube of crescent rolls and wrapping them around hot dogs and processed cheese “food” is home cooking, or at least fixing food. But junk is still junk. And the ads in the food magazines definitely promote it (although even that is better than 92 pages of lawyer listings). How is anyone supposed to get in and out of the supermarket with only canned beans and a bag of rice without being tempted by three days’ worth of calories in a single freezer box? Are you supposed to avoid the near occasion of sin and shop only in farmers’ markets? And I really would like to see a study showing just how the Wall-Eization of America correlates with the introduction of the microwave. Once upon a time you had to wait 45 minutes for instant gratification of the pizza or enchilada variety. Now you can gorge in seconds. And take comfort in knowing obesity is the last taboo. Only your doctor can call you fat.