Halloween senza white sheets, too

So the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is reduced to slightly less than zero because the con man in chief bungled the #trumpandemic response. Wait till it sinks in that there will be no Thanksgiving dinners this year, either — all these months on, it is still not safe to gather around a table cuz you can’t eat or drink while wearing a mask. Get ready for sheet pan turkey and trimmings. And sadness. Whatever you do, don’t think about Christmas…

Altar wine’s corked, too

In an ideal America I would wake up every morning (or every week, at least) and update my website and maybe make some mockery of the 1968 blender cookbook passed down from my in-law equivalent. But we don’t live there anymore. We were promised taco trucks on every corner and instead have to fantasize about developing hemlock cocktails.