I know we’re all supposed to pretend 2001 to 2009 never happened, but I had one thought on hearing — and hearing, and hearing, and hearing — the big White House party was crashed: The Secret Service must have been worn out by all those years of chasing the Skank Twins on their margarita binges. Not to mention hiding the pretzels from the Chimp. The return of honor and dignity and a wine-drinker in chief must be freaking everyone out. But I really blame “Iron Chef.” Once the freckled calves got in, the barbarians were through the gates.
Thanks to Twitter, I now know the trashier of the Skank Twins has a new teevee gig bloviating about education. I do hope she gets a chance to explain how margaritas help you power through exams when your family is well-connected. And isn’t the next natural step for the Food Network to hire her mom to host a show? “How to Cook a Dead Boyfriend,” maybe?
As Charlie Rangel’s stand-in warned long ago, anytime the Chimp is photographed smirking broadly you can be sure he is up to something evil with no cameras watching. Case in point was the Skank Twin’s “modest” wedding, seen ’round the world. The White House Champagne reception for 600? Held behind closed doors while the Mississippi kept rising. And they probably served Pet Goat cheese.